This latest insight was so interesting that I had to blog about it... It came out of a book called The Birth Order Book. I'm a first born, so I skipped to the chapter about firstborns. It talked about how first borns tend to be perfectionists because the only role model in their lives was their parents. So they would strive to be just like them, which is pretty hard for a 2 year old.
Sounds interesting... but I'm not a perfectionist by any means! I keep my desk as messy as the cubicle police will allow at work, my house has taken a TON of effort to clean up to the point of being presentable, and I have trouble completing tasks once I get it started. But the book then had an interesting insight... "Slobs and poor students are usually discouraged perfectionists who have given up trying because it hurts too much to fail." I wouldn't call myself a poor student, but I can definitely see why I don't like cleaning. It's because when I was growing up, cleaning was a process that didn't have a ending. I would clean my room, and my dad would always find one more thing that needed to be cleaned better. I'd proclaim myself done, and he'd come by and point out 2-3 more things that needed to be done (he also was a first born... perfectionist label fits him pretty well!).
So I guess I gave up trying for perfection. I think in general, this is the root cause of a lot of my unwillingness to clean, organize, or plan. Or at least complete it. I'm subconsciously thinking that I'll be criticized, and avoiding criticism is more important than doing the task.
Of course, I should be grown up and mature enough to not have that bother me. A lot of this is inside my head. But how does one get over this? I'm looking for another book...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
OK, so I'm a twin, and the last born, so I don't fit the criteria...but I totally relate to the whole "cleaning the room is a process and dad could always find extra things to do and it was never good enough" sentiment! It amused me...
can i use this as my excuse too?
Jim?
oh, Kat, the birth order book (assuming it's the same one I read) addresses that, too! It's quite fascinating - it addresses siblings who have large age gaps, twins - the first born of twins, second, where they are otherwise in relation (i.e. first born twin, middle child or second born twin, youngest child, multiple middle childs, etc).
I had to laugh about the room cleaning process, too. We can fully empathize on that one!!
It's always good to have a heads I win tails you lose hypothesis.
Post a Comment